My first exposure to the Dwarves was nearly 20 years ago, winter, 1988. The first band I was in, Misled, got an opening slot for them and NOFX at
Coming from a crappy little suburb with less culture than the Republican party, I had never seen a band like them, sort of a cross between Iggy Pop, the Ramones, and a plane crash with few, if any, survivors.
Flash forward to 1993...
Playing bass in the Living End (LA), we went on a tour to Texas in the middle of summer, when the temperatures reach a comfortable 300 degrees. We opened for the Dwarves in the Deep Ellum area of Dallas at a club called 'Trees' or something like that. They were on SubPop records at the time, and had just spread the rumor that their seldom-clothed guitarist, HeWhoCannotBeNamed, was killed in a knife fight. There was even a poster of him at the merch booth with a note reading, "Yes, it's true. Please don't ask."
Turns out it was just a lie.
He had simply quit and gotten married. But SubPop wasn't happy, and they were promptly removed from their roster of artists that would include acts like Nirvana and the Supersuckers. The show was relatively insane, from what I vaguely recall...
In 1996 I began playing in Damnation with two other members from the Living End, Shaun Kama, the lead singer/songwriter, and the drummer, Robert Shawn. Shaun booked us a tour opening for the Dwarves across the US with shows in Denver, Chicago, New York, Boston, Baltimore, New Orleans, Austin, and several others. For five weeks we trekked across the country in a semi-operable van that broke down on the first day and continued to function worse and worse. At one point, we pulled over to the side of a highway in the middle of Nebraska due to horrible sounds emanating from the engine. I opened the hood and together we watched every goddamn belt melt in front of our eyes, slowly peel away from the turn wheels, falling to the ground at our feet.
Awesome.
The tour, otherwise, was great, and we became good friends with Blag. Later on he would produce "The Unholy Sounds of Damnation", our final album, with engineer extra-ordinaire, Brad Cook.
Around May, 2007, we saw Blag again in San Francisco, at a show I performed with Shaun Kama and the Kings of the Wild Frontier. After that, he offered me a job of sorts, playing bass for the Dwarves on an upcoming European tour, including festivals in Sweden, Belgium, and England. It also included four prior shows in LA, San Diego, Orange County, and Las Vegas. All expenses would be paid as well as a decent chunk of cash thrown in, and since I had no other prospective employment for the summer, I agreed with some hesitation.
Hesitation? For one thing, since they oozed onto the underground scene they have always received (and deserved) notoriety for a somewhat rowdy and lewd reputation, not something I'm particularly into or necessarily a part of, just not my cup of mushroom tea.
Also, trying to explain to your girlfriend that, while you still don't have a full time job or regular source of income related to your degrees, you've chosen to drop out of your life for a month of bars, night clubs, parties, and the associated wildness with a band whose albums and songs could be politely described as chauvinist, accurately described as obscene.
In a quandary between my life at home and a temporary life on the road visiting cities I never thought I'd see, between my identity and an on-stage persona, I made the decision to go. The prospect of traveling to Europe for free, playing in Norway and Sweden, taking the stage at the Reading and Leeds festivals, and coming home from tour with money for once was one I couldn't pass up.
I decided on an alter ego (an al-ter ego, if you will) to go along for the ride. The Dwarves last bassist in Europe was Nick Oliveri from Queens of the Stone Age, and I worried fans wouldn't be too open to some no-name clown up there with Blag and a usually naked HeWho...
I needed to balance their yangs with a ying of my own, and also slip into a character that hid my normally sheltered and introverted self.
For the duration of the tour, I donned a priest collar and all black clothing, with aviator glasses and slick, almost sleazy, persona, and was self-ordained Fr. Andrew Christ. It went off pretty well, as the reviews will attest.
I got my free trip to Europe with pay. I played in front of larger audiences than I ever have and probably ever will. I saw cities I never thought I would, if even for less than 24 hours in most cases. And, frankly, all of my apprehensions were unwarranted. I had a great time on the road, in the hotels, on, off and behind the stages, and with the other 6 guys traveling in our Dwarves circus.
I don't regret my decision to go, but I do regret the strain it placed on other parts of my life and relationship.
And I miss my girlfriend.
Arrival at Amsterdam Airport
Drummer Greggory Peccari and the
van that was our home for a month
The camping field in Aarschot, Belgium,
across from the concert grounds.
Our tour manager, the extremely
tall Dutch-Texan "Seetz"
Itinerary:
2007 August, 3 @ 12:00 pm
Aarschot Hagelandfest,
Cathedral and cemetery
in Belgium
2007 August, 3 @ 12:00 pm
Nirwana Tuinfeesten,
2007 August, 4 @ 12:00 pm
Augustibuller,
Aarschot Hagelandfest
2007 August, 5 @ 8:00 pm
Pressure Point,
2007 August, 6 @ 8:00 pm
Monto,
2007 August, 9 @ 8:00 pm
Rock City,
2007 August, 10 @ 8:00 pm
King Tuts,
2007 August, 11 @ 8:00 pm
Village,
2007 August, 12 @ 12:00 pm
2007 August, 14 @ 8:00 pm
KAMP,
Festival tents on lake
2007 August, 15 @ 8:00 pm
RATINGER HOF,
2007 August, 16 @ 8:00 pm
Musikcentrum,
Lindesberg, Sweden
2007 August, 17 @ 8:00 pm
COLUMBIA,
2007 August, 18 @ 8:00 pm
MOLOTOW,
2007 August, 20 @ 12:00 am
2007 August, 22 @ 12:00 am
Garage,
2007 August, 24 @ 12:00 pm
Carling festival,
Water Rats Tavern, London
2007 August, 25 @ 12:00 pm
Spring and Airbrake,
2007 August, 26 @ 12:00 pm
Carling Festival,
5 dates with them
Bolsover, England
Nottingham Castle
Statue of Robyn Hoode
Zulu shield and spears
from colonial wars in Africa
Artillery shot from uprising against British rule
in India
Backstage in Nottingham with Jaime and Jasper of the Dangerfields, UK.
Seven show with these guys, great band, cool people
After playing the festivals in Belgium and the Netherlands (2 countries, 1 day), we flew to Sweden from Germany for another festival the next morning. From Sweden, we flew to London the next morning, met up with Seetz and our van, and continued the tour in England and Scotland.
After a drunken incident at a hostel in Glasgow, we quickly left town for the coast to catch a ferry for North Ireland. Then, it was a few-hours drive to Dublin for another show with the Dangerfields. The next morning, we drove again to the coast and caught a ferry back to England for the Wasted Festival on the coast in Blackpool, 3 days of every British punk band that ever lived. We were second to last, before the elderly ADICTS and after the even more elderly UK SUBS. Another incident ensued, this time with a jackass roadie from the ADICTS and our very own Fresh Prince of Darkness brought to you by Jack Daniels and, honestly, the stupid moves of said roadie.
From there we crossed England by van, caught a ferry in Dover, crossed the channel to France, drove through the Netherlands, Belgium, and into Germany for 5 days with the GO FASTER NUNS, a great band from Bavaria who also turned out to be very cool people.
The long drive to Germany
Bielefeld, Germany
Seetz, HeWho..., Lloyd, Gregory, and myself: Berlin
The Go Faster Nuns
Myself and Blag, Berlin
Recording what I would surely forget...
The Molotow and nearby, uh, 'businesses'.
The Go Faster Nuns, Hamburg
Blag and HeWhoCannotBeNamed, Hamburg
Some giant thing in Hamburg
After zee German shows, we drove north through Denmark. Another ferry to a Dutch island, then a drive over a 6 mile or so bridge to Malmo, Sweden, for another festival- this one a city-sponsored week long event with artists like Taj Mahal and the infamous Swedish 'black metal' band, MAYHEM, whose history includes inter-band murder, cannibalism, bombing plots, and life sentences. Ah, Sweden...
Malmo Festival, Sweden
Right before stage time, Malmo
Oslo, Norway, a beautiful country and city
with an amazing history
Viking swords, 6th-9th centuries
Norse Christian Saints, 12th-14th centuries
From Malmo, we drove up the fjord-scarred coast of Norway to the capital, Oslo. We spent little time there, yet the time we did spend there was with some truly great people who insisted on showing us a good Norse time, all of us, until at least 4am. Wagons were left behind, hotel decency was ignored, and for the first time on the tour I had wished I was somewhere else. I woke early and walked across town to the university for the museum's exhibit on the history of the country, including the items photographed above.
Then the drive we all dreaded from the beginning: we left Oslo back towards Malmo at the Swedish border, crossed that lengthy bridge again into Denmark, another ferry to another part of Denmark, through Belgium and the Netherlands, into France and to the coast. Another ferry across the English Channel to Dover, across England again and back to Nottingham for a much needed day off.
The last three shows were approaching--the Leeds festival, where the bass head tumbled off the cabinet, severing my chord and basically ruining my time at the largest show to date. It was fixed somewhat quickly, however I missed three songs.
Early the next morning we drove to Liverpool, to the John Lennon International Airport, for a speedy flight back to Ireland for our last show with our buenos amigos, the Dangerfields.
Way too early and hungover the next morning we were taken back to the airport and flew to Heathrow, London, where Seetz once again met us and took us straight to Reading for the famous Reading festival and my last show as a Dwarf in priest's clothing.
Last show with the Dangerfields, Belfast
Leeds Festival, England
'Backstage' at Leeds
On stage, Leeds Festival
Backstage at Reading: Blag and the Casualties
Turbonegro, Lock-up stage, Reading, England
Blag and Turbonegro after our last show,
Reading
After Reading, we drove again to Dover to catch another ferry to France. From there we headed to the Hague to drop Blag off, sort everything out, and make our way to our last destination to catch our flights home-- Amsterdam. The last night we all separated and sought the various forms of entertainment Amsterdam has to offer. For me it was a coffee house named Bushman after the late great Peter Tosh.
And that, my friends, was perfectly appropriate.
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